HEY! YOU! Elevator reminders

One of the many on-line articles I receive is “LinkedIn Today…” short articles, mildly entertaining, semi-informative, and generally a quick read (I mean that in the best way imaginable). One of today’s articles (4/23) is a reminder for some very basic Business Etiquette rules that are often ignored or forgotten. One such reminder deals with the elevator; believe it or not, this is a hot topic for me, so allow me to expand on ways to elevate your awareness (get it? puns are fun!):

1. One floor rule ~ Americans earned the title of fattest country on Earth; make a small sacrifice & take the stairs if you’re traveling ONE floor. Especially if that one floor is BELOW you. And especially especially if that one floor below you is the smoking area.

2. Hang up the phone douchebag ~ Obviously a rule not limited to elevator passengers, but there’s something especially galling about someone on the phone in the elevator. There’s actually a hilarious Family Guy episode where Stewie deals with this issue in a harsh and irreversible manner.

3. The food rule. This one actually requires individual judgment, which immediately dooms the adherence; if your food smells, don’t bring it on the elevator. If your food smells “a little,” remember if you smell it “a little,” anyone else on the elevator smells it a lot. ALL fast food smells.

"who broke rule #5?

4. Get on, get off. Don’t stop in the door to continue a conversation. Don’t “hold” the elevator for your friend who’s still 50 ft away from the door. Don’t get off on the wrong floor because your head is up your butt, then stop the rest of us from getting where we’re going. Just get on, get off.

5. The “other” smells; farts, B.O., smoke, perfume. You’d think it was easy enough to remember NOT to fart, DO take a shower this week, DON’T step in the elevator as you’re taking a final suck on the filter, and lay off the perfume cloud.

6. We HEAR you ~ yes, yes, Mr. Big Time, we hear you. Thanks for filling us in on your date, your “radical” night, your killer hangover, your bitchin’ plans for the weekend, and your commentary on the righteous tail in the office. Really, we hear you. Now please take your skinny jeans off my elevator and start working on the mix CD for your weekend rave.

7. Appropriate sight lines ~ most guys inherently know this rule from days in the gym showers, but you are never to make eye contact with another guy; that’s why the floor numbers are above the elevator door, to give you something to look at without creeping out your fellow passengers.

I know these are petty annoyances, and I’m also quite certain I’ve probably thumbed my nose at each of these “rules” several times in my own lifetime. It’s just WAY more annoying when other people do it.

What am I missing?


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