From the mouths of babes….

Remember when you were a little dude & you started to have some very polarizing feelings about little girls? My 10-yr old is right in the wheelhouse of that mind-set, and it’s really inspiring to watch. Recently, he received an assignment to write a Valentine’s Day “love poem” (in FIFTH grade????) ~ I share with you below 4 stanzas, 16 lines, and 1 strong reminder of a time when we weren’t worried about saying the wrong thing to our lady-friends. This, my friends, is pure greatness:

I love you, I love you, I love you so much, if I were a dart frog, I’d give you a touch

If I were a boxer, I’d give you a punch. If you were a sandwich, I’d eat you for lunch

If you were a paper I’d tear you apart. If you were a toy I’d sell you at Wal-Mart

I love you the way a dog loves a cat, I love you the way a ball loves a bat.

If love was money, you’d be a nickel. If love was vegetables you’d be a pickle.

If you were a sink, I’d give you a clog. If you were a chew toy I’d give you to my dog.

I love you, I love you, I love you so much, but if we go together we’ll have to go Dutch

I thought that some day we’d be under the steeple, but for now we should see other people.


Wow…from my loins this young raconteur was spawned. I’m pretty sure Hallmark will be getting a call from me in the coming months recommending an alternative message for a Valentine’s card. 10 years old, already having “mind pretzels” dished his way by the fairer sex. Poor little bugger has no freaking idea how much worse it gets before it gets better.

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4 thoughts on “From the mouths of babes….

  1. No way your fifth grader wrote this. I’m stealing it, I’m giving myself all the credit, royalties – nickels and all – and ruling the whole world with this poem.

  2. Pingback: From the mouths of babes…. « news4dudes « news4dudes

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